Friday, December 11, 2015

Traditions



I believe that having family traditions is important. They are ways that bring families together and strengthen relationships. One of my favorite family traditions is to go see the play "A Christmas Carol" every year. This tradition was started with my grandparents and parents when they were newly weds. My family has gone every year for over the last 40 plus years. I loved going when I was younger and now I love sharing this tradition with my kids. They look forward to going every year too and I hope it's one of those traditions that will continue on. 

Thursday, December 3, 2015

School Event


My boys had their school Holidays Around the World event where each class put together different food, pictures, and reports from different countries and some of the holidays they celebrate. My boys were excited to show me what they worked on and the school did a great job there were was so much to see. I think it's important to go to events like this. As a family we need to show our support for each other it's one of those simple ways we build and strengthen our relationships. It also shows my children that I love them and care about they events and activities it hat are important to them. 

Sunday, November 29, 2015

Conflict and Contention

Did you know there is a difference between conflict and contention? Often we are mistaken and believing that conflict is bad however it is normal for opinions and beliefs to differ and conflict to arise. When conflict arises it is our choice whether or not we will choose to remain calm and peaceful or become angry and contentious. No one can make us angry or offended that choice is ours and it is one that is influenced by Satan. When we become angry we break down relationships and once we say things in anger we can never take them back. It is our choice whether or not we will become offended. Often times we see many people leave the church because they were offended over something simple but again that is another one of Satan's tools and is something that can be avoided if we learn how to have conflicts without getting contentious and becoming angry and possibly damaging relationships. We don't have to win every disagreement and prove we are right. It's ok to agree to disagree.

Monday, November 23, 2015

Activer Listening

I have been thinking about actively listening lately when communicating with are friends and family members. One thing that stood out to me was how we need to actively listen with love. I believe if we actively listen with love our communication and relationships will improve. It's important to stop and be patient when listening to our children and family members. The relationships we build in this life will carry with us in the next. A big part of our family relationships is communication. If my children don't feel that I am really listening to what they say they will go to someone else who will and that is not always a good thing.  I realize that sometimes when I'm listening to others I find myself coming up with my response or interrupting. It's a bad habit and I know that when I do this I'm not really listening to what others are saying. I also realize that with my kids I'm too quick to offer a solution or fix their problems when maybe they just wanted someone to listen to them. This is way I feel active listening is a great communication skill to work on to help strengthen my family relationships. 

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

What a Teenage Boy Needs Most from his Mom

I came across this article one day called

"What a Teenage Boy Needs Most from his Mom." I really liked this and felt it applied well to me as I have one teenager and one almost there. 

I have enjoyed each stage my kids have gone through and so far I'm loving the teen years! My boys are so fun. 


However as a single mom I often wonder if I'm doing enough to meet the needs of three boys especially my teenager. So in the article she shared 11 tips that teenage boys need most from their moms.

1.  A safe place to figure themselves out.
It happens almost every day, and sometimes many times a day:  Teenagers are always changing.  They will change their clothes.  Their mood.  How they walk, talk or what they’re into.  Some days they just need to figure out what feels right.  Some days nothing feels right.  Being a teenager is hard.  Sometimes our greatest job as Mom is to act like we don’t even notice.

2.  Boundaries.
Our boys need to know what is absolutely ok, and what is absolutely not.  They may resist rules, but deep down they feel safe when there are clear-cut rules without exceptions.  Make them clear and consistent, and have absolute consequences in place for when they break rules.  Boundaries =Security. 
3.  Freedom.
Within those boundaries, teenage boys need the opportunity to stretch their wings.  Teenage boys should be encouraged…Even pushed–to try new things, to take some risks, to find adventure.  Given enough opportunities for healthy adventure, they will avoid a lot of trouble.  (Remember–“Idle hands” and all of that…)
Keep boys busy doing character building, exciting activities and watch them become men before your eyes. The minute my boys act in irresponsibly, they will lose freedom.  So the freedoms we give are taken very seriously.  
4.  A Listening Ear.Boys need to talk.  Even the quietest ones will open up when given the chance.  Get them alone, in the car or wherever you can, and make it clear that you WANT to hear about their interests, and their lives.  Be patient, and try different times and places until you figure it out. This makes it clear that I am OK with any and every topic and I will always be available and comfortable talking.
5.  A Sense of Humor.
This is the good stuff.  Teenagers…are hilarious.  This may be my very favorite thing about these years.  No more knock-knock jokes or bad made-up jokes that never seem to come to a conclusion.  Teenagers actually GET STUFF.   There’s hardly anything like the bond of a good laugh with my boys.
When one of my boys come out laughing and want me to watch a funny Vine or YouTube Video, I drop everything for it.
Side note #1: As for us–**We have a rule of “clean” entertainment only.  No swearing or anything off-color.  And they know that if I find them following anyone inappropriate, I’ll remove their Vine/YouTube etc account (See #2))
Side note #2**I have a “I can check your phone, computer, etc anytime I want to–no questions asked.”  This keeps everyone in check.
There is plenty of FUN and FUNNY entertainment out there if you look for it.
it’s a hard world:  A good sense of humor will get your kid through many trials in life–So encourage it.
6.  Touch.
Your teenage son will likely pull away from you physically, and that is normal, albeit painful.  But even the most rigid, sulky teenage boy needs hugs from Mom.  Don’t get awkward and keep a distance.  Create a “hug a day” rule or something that makes it routine and normal.  He’ll love it even if he refuses to show it.
7.  Genuine interest.
What does your teenager love?  Learn to love it too.  Know at least enough about what they are passionate about so that you can have a decent conversation.   This will keep doors open greater than any other gesture you can make.
8.  Forgiveness.
Teenagers will make mistakes.  Lots of them.  They’ll act selfish.  They’ll space out.  They’ll get insecure and do stupid things because of it.  They are going to mess up so much you’ll wonder where you went wrong.  If you know it’s coming, it won’t throw you off.  Consequences may be in order, but so is a whole lot of grace.
9.  Direction.
Listen Mom:  Your teenager actually WANTS you to give them guidance. Sure, they’ll act like they don’t, but they do.  Keep it relevant, and as brief as possible, but when you see them facing forks in the road, go ahead and speak some good solid words of advice to them.  Share a Scripture that fits their situation.  Quote someone they might respect.  You are their greatest resource they have, and they need your direction.  They’ll thank you, even if it takes twenty years.
10.  Encouragement.
It’s hard to be a teenager.  (remember?)  The world will yell and scream all kinds of negatives to your son.  So be his greatest fan.  Be his cheerleader.  Believe in him with your heart, and tell him that you do.  Every.  Single.  Day.  I’m not talking about phony, contrived encouragement (Everyone is a winner!) but the authentic kind that finds their greatest giftings, and speaks them boldly.
11.  An example.
Our kids are watching us.  They get a lot more of an idea about what is right, wrong, good and bad from what you do than what you say.  So take your position seriously.  No, you’ll never be perfect, and you can tell your kid that–but don’t use that fact as an excuse to be lame.  If you don’t want them to swear, don’t swear.  If you teach them to speak well of others, make sure you do the same.  Probably the greatest thing you can do for your son is to model the kind of person you want them to be.
The common key to pretty much everything named is that Mom is involved in the teen’s life.  


Saturday, November 14, 2015

Goofballs


Sometimes we can be silly but I love it! We were watching a movie together that some how turned into a goofy family selfie session. I think moments like these are far more important and more memorable to my kids than the movie we watched. I can't even remember the movie but I remember the fun and happiness felt as we had fun together! 

Monday, November 9, 2015

Friday, November 6, 2015

Turn Our Hearts to The Family


It's crazy how so many people are looking for happiness OUTSIDE of their own homes and families. We live in a world of instant gratification and money will buy you happiness. But what people fail to realize is that...

A CHRIST CENTERED HOME = REAL HAPPINESS!

If we turn towards Him and build a strong foundation centered around Christ we will find the peace and happiness even during hardships and trials. 

Tuesday, November 3, 2015

The Priesthood


My middle son Hunter recently turned 12 and received the Aaronic priesthood. I feel blessed that both my older two boys hold the priesthood. As a single mom I don't feel limited to the priesthood just because I do t have a husband. I know that leaders and home teachers will come and administer to my family anytime I need it. The priesthood is for everyone and I'm grateful for the opportunity to be a mom of boys in whom I can teach them to magnify their priesthood responsibilities. 

Sunday, November 1, 2015

Happy Halloween



This year for Halloween we kept it low key as one of my boys ended up with pneumonia. We did however go to the wars Halloween party and carve pumpkins. My oldest went out with his friends on Saturday night while I tookmy youngest  trick or treating and my middle son was in bed sick. I do have to say how proud I  of my youngest. Without even being asked he decided to do half of his trick or treating for his sick brother so he could get candy too.  

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Fight The New Drug




My stake along with three other stakes invited the group "Fight The New Drug" to come present to all the youth ages 12 and up. I was really glad my older two boys had the opportunity to go to this along with over a 1000 other youth. This groups message was very powerful. They explained how porn harms in 3 ways: It affects the brain, relationships, and society. One of their main slogans is "Porn Kills Love". At the end of their presentation they invite all the kids to sigh a banner with a pledge to abstaine from porn. They also offer resources for those youth who may already be addicted. This was a great event and I encourage others to check out their message. 

Sunday, October 25, 2015

Thursday, October 22, 2015

Feed My Starving Children

My boys and I this last week went to the foundation Feed My Starving Children with our ward for a service project. It was a great experience and fun too. We were put into assembly stations where we weighed, measured, and packed food that was going to be shipped to third world countries. My boys and I had a great time doing this and it was a good opportunity to move beyond ourselves and serve others. It also helps us to be more grateful for what we do have. My boys had such a fun time doing this that they want to go back just as a family to do it again on Christmas break. I think this might be a new Westberg family tradition.

Sunday, October 18, 2015

Our Eternal Families

I recently read a talk from Elder Robert D. Hales, “The Eternal Family” that I felt was really insightful.  In his talk he stated, “How we conduct ourselves in this life will determine what we will be in all the eternities to come. To receive the blessings of the sealing that our Heavenly Father has given to us, we have to keep the commandments and conduct ourselves in such a way that our families will want to live with us in the eternities. The family relationships we have here on this earth are important, but they are much more important for their effect on our families for generations in mortality and throughout all eternity...the plan of the Father is that family love and companionship will continue into the eternities. Being one in a family carries a great responsibility of caring, loving, lifting, and strengthening each member of the family so that all can righteously endure to the end in mortality and dwell together throughout eternity.” It is scary to think that if we do not conduct ourselves properly like Elder Hales said that our family members might not want to be with us in the next life. It made me think about my relationship with my kids and how I speak to them and treat them. I felt that this was really great counsel to not only teach our children and raise them in righteousness but to also build strong lasting relationships that will carry over into the eternities. I love my boys and want to be with them in the eternities. It's important for us to remember that this life is the time for us to not only prepare ourselves but our family members as well to live with God again. 

Thursday, October 15, 2015

Family Scripture Time

So sometimes my boys are silly. Every night we have family scripture study in my room and we all sit or lay on my bed. Well the other night my boys started wrestling and dog piling on each other. In this moment I knew I had two choices I could get inpatient and upset with them or I could just embrace the silliness and have fun with them. I'm so glad I that I did not get upset or frustrated with them. Yes family scripture time took longer but as I sat there taking goofy pictures of them and laughing with them together we created a fun family memory. I love these moments together as these are the ones they will remember. 

Monday, October 12, 2015

Trials

I know this to be true. I wouldn't say I'm 100% healed from my divorce but I can look back and see where I was and how far I have come. I'm so grateful to have had the Gospel and my testimony to lean on during what has been the hardest trial I have gone through so far. Sure I am still lonely and mourn my temple marriage but there is still hope. While this is a trial placed on me by the choices and actions of another I know that the Lord will bless me as I continue to to live up to my covenants. I have the choice to let this experience break me or to let it strengthen me. I choose to become stronger!

Saturday, October 10, 2015

Family Bike Ride

The weather has been cooling off here in Arizona which means it's the perfect time to get outdoors. One of my favorite things to do with my boys is to go for family bike rides. Sometimes we just ride around until we get tired and other times we will ride to a new park and hang out playing. Unfortunately my oldest out grew his bike so he rode his skateboard. But man he's good and was able to keep up with no problem. In fact he and I had a race bike vs. board and he won! I love doing this kind of stuff with my kids. It build memories together and we grow closer as a family too.

Thursday, October 8, 2015

Eternal Family Relationships

This week I read a talk from Elder Robert D. Hales, “The Eternal Family” in his talk he said, “How we conduct ourselves in this life will determine what we will be in all the eternities to come. To receive the blessings of the sealing that our Heavenly Father has given to us, we have to keep the commandments and conduct ourselves in such a way that our families will want to live with us in the eternities. The family relationships we have here on this earth are important, but they are much more important for their effect on our families for generations in mortality and throughout all eternity...the plan of the Father is that family love and companionship will continue into the eternities. Being one in a family carries a great responsibility of caring, loving, lifting, and strengthening each member of the family so that all can righteously endure to the end in mortality and dwell together throughout eternity.” This really hit home to me as sometimes I wonder if I'm doing enough to give my kids all the love and strength that each one of them needs. I'm trying to do the job of both a mother and father but I feel like I'm falling short. I want to have a strong family both here and in the eternities and I know that if I do all I can the Lord will bless me and my children. This life is the time for us to not only prepare ourselves but our family members as well to live with God again.

Monday, October 5, 2015

Starting Over

It's been a long while since I have updated our family blog. A lot has happened over the past several years. Our little family was hit hard with some trails three years ago which ended with Kevin and I separating and then getting a divorce which at the time I did not have the heart to even look at our family blog as it was too painful of a reminder of happier times and the promise of a bright future raising our three boys together. Now I don't want to dwell on the past as what's done is done. All I can do now is move forward with finding ways for the boys and I to strengthen our family and find a new happiness.